Wixed Mords

“Did I tell you I’m a funambulist?”

“Where did you train?”

“In bed of course.” Harry winked, his gold filling twinkling in his grin.

“How do you balance in bed?”

“What?”

“I assume you practiced a lot to be a funambulist. Maybe six inches to start then gradually adding more?”

“No, I started with a long stroll. I was never one for perambulating about the bush.”

“Do you have special shoes?”

“For sleepwalking?”

“On a highwire?”

“What are you talking about, Lady?”

“Oh, Harry. You’re a somnambulator, not a funambulist!” By the way, did I tell you I’m an expostulate?”

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6 thoughts on “Wixed Mords

  1. I have never heard expostulate used as a noun, so my mind went not to expostulator, but to ex-postulant, which would be someone who escaped from the nunnery before taking any final vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience.
    I also misconstrued funambulist—by pronunciation (fun-ambulist). But when I figured things out, I was indeed mordified.

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    • I think it makes perfect sense that Lady Smock is an ex-postulant, don’t you? Malapropisms are often perfectly appropriate.

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