Amiss Me

Aghast I stood and beheld my name
spelled wrong – dear God! – again.

To you it’s naught but an oft repeated
joke, hardly funny anymore, and
I suppose I should invoke patience
and ignore it – again. After all,
what’s in a name?

I lied, said I bear no grudge,
don’t gnash my teeth, nor
pull my hair or sleep
with spirt unperturbed.

But this inharmonious consonant
that hangs around my desk
jabs me constantly,
reminds me all that is not right here.

I’m not sure who’s more stupidly
blind but here’s the thing:
soon a new schmuck will appear
and relieve misspelled me,

when I toss forever the errant “z”,
the day Susanne with her “s”
breaks free from her cubicle
and cares less.


29 thoughts on “Amiss Me

  1. This is so relatable, Susanne! I love this response!

    Just yesterday I got a work email that began “Dear Chrystal” and a very real shudder went down my spine. It’s my least-favorite misspelling! My 1st-grade teacher spelled it that way on my paintbox on the first day of school, and when I pointed out the error (I’d just spent a year learning to spell it correctly, for Pete’s sake!), she put a backslash through the “h” and left it like that all year. Calamity!

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  2. I think all of us with a name that get butchered on a regular basis can relate to this. Joanne is bad enough. I’m just glad I was named for my maternal great-grandmother rather than my grandmother. Her name was Gerritje 😳

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  3. I know just how you feel, Susanne! I was saddled with Mary Ellen, two words, one name, no hyphen. How I hated the duality of it, and the explaining! So MEL I became, my initials lending themselves to a nickname that stuck. That ‘s’ matters, of course it does. It’s your identity and you are right to reclaim it!

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  4. Oh yeah, great poem, great retaliation!! I very often have an extra ‘e’ inserted into my name and in this country I am very often called “Poor-Lean’ which I really would prefer not to be known as….. My eldest suffers from being called Joanne when her name is Joanna – I think that is pure laziness. And my youngest has often resorted to ‘Dan’ in order to avoid Danielle, Daniella, Donella and so on. I do not count any name despoilers among my friends.

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  5. I catch myself with your name sometimes Susanne now that I’ve read this little ditty I’m sure to remember!! I know the feeling. When I was six years old I can remember my father specifically telling me your name is Jean not John. So since then I always spell my name as it is spelt in french. I book myself as Jean Bedard and constantly have to remind people that I am french and it is not pronounced Jeen. Then failing to pronounce my name in french I tell people to call me John. Its frustrating. Just think 36 more days SuSanne!!

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  6. You would think it’s just one letter but there is more going on there. Lack of respect or caring. I’ve had friends continue to misspell my name for years even though I point it out. Not friends any longer. One letter says a lot! Sorry you are working with morons. ;(

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      • You absolutely got it right though I wouldn’t expect you to. 🙂 I had a friend for 3 years that kept spelling it wrong even though I gave her birthday and holiday cards and gifts for her child. You would think by then she’d have a clue. ;/ It’s a sign of disinterest if it’s long term. Sometimes we all mess up as I do myself.

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  7. Feeling your pain with that errant “Z”, but mostly it does not bother me anymore. If I feel like it, I might get into a song and dance of explanation on where the “S” comes from and how my parents choose my name 😉

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