From the first sip of tea on the second date, he knew Lady Smock was a gift from the heavens, the way she blew on the rouged surface as though extinguishing a bolide. His mind wandered to a conjugal bed where sleeping would be an afterthought. Well, a man can dream, can’t he? He blamed it on the invitation to dine on sausage rolls on their first date. Who could resist a woman who ate rich sausages hidden in buttery pastry and didn’t fret about the calorie consequences?
“What do you know about amending acidic soil, Harry?” Lady Smock’s left eyebrow rose, following her voice into a question mark.
Harry knew squat about gardening. He hated getting his hands dirty, afterwards scraping his nails clean, scrubbing grime from his dried finger pads. Gardening was a penance. Yes, he loved flowers but that’s why florists exist. But he’d read – “Poultry droppings are just the ticket”, he replied, not knowing her hen-house needed a good mucking out.
They left together, discussing pH balance and the risks of gardening without gloves.
Writing Bites 
I love flash fiction. Wish I had time to write some. I enjoyed yours, however! Thank you for posting it.
LikeLike
Thanks, Josh. My real love is non-fiction but I have fun with these little stories and they make the brain work in a different way which I figure is good for it/me.
LikeLike
FANtastic!
LikeLike
Tee hee.
LikeLike
So I read a few of these Harry and the Lady bits to my husband who rolled back onto the bed in laughter. “Who writes this?” He asked. “Oh, just a saucy lass from Canada. She’s kind of naughty, isn’t she?”
So, just wondering, are you going to corral these gems on their own page? So we can follow the ride, or romp, whichever, in order?
LikeLike
Thanks, Julie. I’m having a ridiculous amount of fun with these two. I created a “category” for them called “Lady Smock” so if you click there they should all come up. Thanks for sharing with your hubby and so glad you shared that story with me!
LikeLike
Gotta love a left eyebrow that can rise to a question mark!
LikeLike
Anything is possible when you’re a cartoon.
LikeLike
I literally SWL (Screamed With Laughter). That was comedy of the absurd at it’s freshest and best! You have bolide-ly gone where no one’s gone before!
LikeLike
Aye, Captain. Phasers on stun!
LikeLike